Difference Between Content and Happy
by jazzlover5
Summary: Penny learns the difference between being content and being happy.


I'd just like to thank Trippy41 for helping me out with this.

Most people think that their lives would make a great movie because everyone had a story, a history, something that made them the way they are today, and I'm no different. So I decided to write it, well finished it. I had actually started it five years ago, though it felt like a lifetime. In the end, it isn't what I thought it would be. Certainly not the rags to riches tale of a small town Nebraska girl achieving fame and fortune in Hollywood. It was more of a coming-of-age story, totally cliche but perfect in its own way, at least for me.

It all started when I had one of those moments, like the characters in books or movies have when they realize that there must be something out there. Something better than what they've got going on now, more exciting, more fulfilling, where they realize the only solution is to go and find it.

It's not that there was anything wrong with life; the endless Midwestern plains and small town charm. I was content. Content is close to happy, so I really didn't think about anything beyond the borders I had known all my life. At least until I realized that content really isn't close enough to happy. Then, what laid beyond the horizon was all that I could think about.

My ever-intuitive mother saw it coming. She saw the way her daughter's emerald eyes glazed over during talks of country fairs and cornhusking. She knew it was only a matter of time.

So the day I sat my parents down and told them that I was moving to a land where all my dreams could come true; that it was something I had to do. My mother saw that long lost twinkle back in my eye. They didn't try to stop me. My parents blinked back tears and made me promise to call, then waved as I flew down the driveway and never looked back.

When things went south with my meathead boyfriend and I had to strike out on my own, I wasn't afraid. It felt like progress.

I met the boys. I struggled with what my life had become though. Not exactly the glitz and glam I had dreamed of, it was more slime and grime of waitressing to make ends meet. I took that unhappiness out on others, specifically one person. That crazy neighbor of mine with the crystal blue eyes.

I tried not to be left alone with him if it could be avoided. He drove me crazy.

His weird spot. The dinner routine. His regimented schedule. And of course the bickering, especially that.

I did learn things though, and I grew as a person. Over time it became easy, spending time with him. It wasn't a last resort anymore, but a first choice. It had grown and evolved into a solid friendship, something that made me smile.

The knocks. The Penny Blossoms. The laundry. The trips to the comic book store. And of course the bickering, especially that.

I dated his roommate and thought that things were finally starting to work out the way they were supposed to. Until that night. It wasn't like the roommate was the first guy to ever tell me he loved me, but maybe that was the problem. Instead of responding, I froze because I knew that feeling. It was what I had felt back home. Content. Not happy. So I did what I had to do, I broke up with him.

I thought about moving, about finding somewhere that no one knew me so I could start over again and move forward, but I couldn't. There was something holding me to 4B, and as I heard that triple knock and opened my door to look into those crystal blue eyes I realized what it was.

It wasn't easy after that. I spent time with him even when 4A was awkward, but he was far more perceptive than I had previously given him credit for. The routine evolved. Well at least some of it.

Laundry night got a movie component. Anything Can Happen Thursday became Date Night. And as always, there was of course the bickering.

I mentioned him to my parents, to my co-workers, to my friends. He did the same, which shocked me more than he would ever know.

I felt as though I had truly found myself in him, and was confident that he would say the same. I realized that one moment all those years ago, that desire to go find something better had led here.

And when asked me that question, the one I had been dreaming about since I was a little girl in his uniquely genius way, I said yes because in that moment, I was happy. 


End file.
